Saturday, October 27, 2012

Playing Dumb

This certainly isn't a new thing.  In fact, my parents very specifically warned me against doing it when I was a child.  Yet, as I see it more and more among adults in my life, I want to scream.  Playing dumb is dumb.

When I was young, school was my thing.  I mean, I got great grades and was mocked (bullied?) for being "Little Miss Perfect."  I wasn't athletic or pretty or anything else particularly outstanding...but I did well in school.  Obviously, my parents saw enough of it to warn me that I should be proud of being smart.  They did not want me to hide it for the sake of pleasing others, or to make myself more "acceptable" to the insecure.  So, I embraced it, surrounded myself with good friends, and let it be.

Now, I see women around me (more than a few) who seem to have made playing dumb a way of life.  Perhaps I'm more sensitive to it because I was explicitly told NOT to behave that way, but it bothers me.  Actually, it scares me a little because I can't totally tell whether they are smart women who are playing dumb or whether they are just women who were never encouraged to be smart in the first place.

Before I go any further, I'd like to clarify a couple of things.  First, I'm not sitting up here on my high horse and saying that I've never played dumb.  However, when I've done it, it's been an occasional, strategic manipulation in order to achieve a specific goal.  I've never used it as a day-to-day "this is who I am."  Second, I'm not criticizing people who weren't lucky enough to have my parents, my education, my experiences, etc.  We all have different talents, measured in different ways.  Some people have book smarts, others have street smarts, plenty have a combination of both.  All of that is awesome and I certainly don't think I'm above anyone else in that regard.  This post isn't about women who hate reading, suck at math, or have crappy grammar.  This is about women who act helpless, so that other people will do the heavy lifting of their lives.

It freaks me out to see professionals shrug their shoulders, bat their doe eyes, pout, and use just enough of a whine to make people jump up and do things for them, to make decisions on their behalf.  The pathetic "I don't know...help me" look shakes my very core.  Why is this okay to them?  When did it become acceptable to let other people pull the strings? If a generation of these women are now raising daughters of their own, what the hell will the future hold?  We were given a backbone for a reason; we need to stand tall. Asking for help when we truly need it is a sign of strength.  Asking for help when we don't, is a weakness.

My Return


For a variety of reasons, I've been planning a return to blogging.  It's something I've been working toward for several weeks (months?), but it seems perfect that I'm finally doing something about it exactly two years after my last post.  Here I am.
I've got a lot of stuff bouncing around in my head, as usual, but I'm going to start with something light.  Memes are an easy way to give you all a peak into my life, so here it is (for more peaks, click on the "memes" tag at the end of this post and read some of my other ones).  This was stolen, with love, from Mrs. Chili.  I will follow this up with something a little more meaningful; in the meantime, enjoy.
1. What was the last clothing item that you bought?  A couple of weeks ago, I purchased a pair of jeans from Kohl's.  Recent weight gain has made my other jeans a bit too tight, so I was looking for a pair that would fit correctly and make me feel good.  Alas, I succeeded.  Funny how the right pair of jeans can give you a sudden confidence boost, huh?
2. If you could stay one age forever, what age would you choose? Oddly enough, I've really never had a problem getting older.  True, I'm still only 33, but I'm not apprehensive about aging.  I suppose, for the sake of the question, I'll stay 33...my life now is pretty awesome.
3. When you say “lol”, are you really laughing? I don't recall ever using "lol.'  It's just not my thing.  If something truly amuses me, I may type "hahahaha," in which case, yes, I'm usually laughing out loud.
4. What is the most interesting thing you’ve done in the past year?  Interesting?  That's hard to say.  I mean, I feel like I lead a relatively boring life (and prefer it that way).  Perhaps giving myself daily fertility shots for one of our attempts to conceive this summer?  It's not something I had ever imagined doing.
5. If you started a business, what would it be?  Well, I am an independent contractor, so I already am my own business.  If I were to start an actual company with employees and such?  Probably something along the lines of professional organization.  Going into businesses and/or homes to evaluate need and set up systems.
6. Do your friends/family/coworkers know about your blog? My immediate family (mom, sister, Jersey) knows, but it's not something I've shared with my in-laws, cousins, etc.  A couple of friends know about it, but I do not have any intention of "going public" with it.  Some anonymity is crucial to my ability to speak freely.  Censoring myself would take away a huge reason for my blogging.
7. How long does it take you to write an average blog post? I haven't done it enough lately to remember.  Most of my topics are things already on my mind, so it's just a matter of letting them out.
8. How do you keep up with the blogs you follow?  I really don't follow anybody these days.  It's something I should get back into; I've just completely let it slide.
9. What is your bedtime? Is sex always involved? I try to get upstairs by 9:00ish and to sleep around 10:00ish.  That hour in between is for changing, brushing my teeth, washing my face, watching TV, and reading a magazine or book.  No, sex is not always involved.
10. Introvert or extrovert? Definitely an introvert.  Always have been.
11. What is your biggest fear? At one point, I might have said regret.  I think I may have that under control enough that it's no longer a fear.  I'll have to think about this one.
12. What is the best job you ever had?  In a lot of ways, my very first job (as a restaurant hostess) may have been my best.  I was 17 and had no idea that the job really kicked ass at the time.  Oh well.
13. Dog person/cat person/both/neither?  Really, neither.  I have a cat, but pets have never been my thing.  Even as a child, I never asked my parents for one.  I don't dislike animals, but I'd be fine if none of them lived with me.
14. If you had $1,000 to spend any way you wanted, what would you do with it?   These days, it would probably go to fertility treatments.  If I had to spend it on something frivolous, then I'd either go for an assortment of movies, clothes, shoes, etc., or a vacation with Jersey.
15. How do you “dress” your toast?  I don't really eat toast very often.  When I do, it's usually got a bit of butter on it.  Nothing terribly fancy.
16. How do you feel about snow? Love the peacefulness of it; the quiet.  Don't care to spend a ton of time IN it, but appreciate a lot about it.
17. What was the worst job you ever had? Now may be a bad time to ask that.  Nah, none of my jobs have been so terrible that I couldn't stand them.  They've all had pros and cons.  The one where I was called into meeting for supposedly saying my own name incorrectly was a little ridiculous.
18. What song can you not stop listening to?  I go through phases and most songs get old to me after a while.  That being said, I'm still not tired of Baba O'Riley by The Who and Somebody to Love by Queen.  Classic rock tends to last with me longer than any current pop stuff.
19. Love your name or hate it?  Neither.  It just is.  I suppose having something that isn't mispronounced as often would be nice, but it's not that big of a deal to me.
20. How did you choose your blog/twitter handle?  Morgan is a nod to Captain Morgan, my liquor of choice.  I could have come up with a million different things (and I do have different names in different areas of the internet), but this was easy enough for blogging.