Stork Update

It's very interesting that I wrote my last post at that particular time. Jersey and I have been trying to get pregnant for several months, so I could have written that at almost any time. Instead, I happened to share it with the universe on that specific day. Well, just a few days later, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. Seven more tests followed (because I'm crazy and it was fun to see all of the positive tests lined up) and we were incredibly excited. My first prenatal appointment was scheduled at 9 weeks, and Jersey and I worked hard to keep our special little secret for a bit. I went to work that week and stayed as normal as possible, so that my mom and all of my coworkers wouldn't see right through me. Everything was going great.

Then, I miscarried.

When the bleeding first started, I panicked (duh!), but I also knew that many women experience some of that during the first trimester. I tried to stay as calm as possible, since I really didn't know anything yet. The following morning, my morning sickness kicked in and I became a hormonal mess. Between the uncertainty of the pregnancy and the fun of spending the morning on the bathroom floor, I kept crying. At that point, I knew I had to tell my mom...and let me tell you, it was not fun having to tell her that I was pregnant and that I might be losing the baby all in one sentence. I also scheduled an appointment to see a doctor asap. I had one blood test done then, with a second test four days later. Our appointment for those results was on Monday, though I already knew that it was over. I've gotten to know my body very well over the past year, plus the morning sickness had disappeared.

I'm doing much better now that the roller coaster has stopped. I'm the type of person who likes information and plans, so I'm thrilled to be past the "I don't know what's happening" stage. I also came to the important realization that I really don't like the doctor with whom I spoke. My regular doctor is on maternity leave, so I switched to this replacement, but I'm looking forward to switching back as soon as possible. This doctor was nice enough, but I honestly felt like I knew way more about my body and how we are conceiving (which is obviously not traditional) than she did. She gave me questionable advice, and I'm glad I've done enough research to feel secure in ignoring her.

So, now I have an appointment with the nurse practitioner who is known as the office's "fertility expert" and I am ready to pick her brain. Jersey and I plan to start trying again as soon as my body gets back to normal. I'm very much looking at the bright side of all of this...now I know that I can get pregnant, which was a big question mark before my miscarriage. Also, now that I've miscarried, I can go to the doctor as soon as I get pregnant again, so that they can help boost my hormone levels and keep an eye on me.

The bottom line is that I'll be fine and this is something that happens to a lot of women, even if most don't talk about it. It really sucked when I was in the middle of it, but I'm glad that I can look forward. Plus, I know that when I have my baby in my arms, there will be no doubt that he/she is the baby I was supposed to have. My time will come.