A New Home

So, I had a nice “rant” post planned in my head, but I decided to honor the Thanksgiving holiday and save it for next week.  Instead, here’s something for which I am grateful…

Before I get to my main point, I'll give a bit of background info. Both of my parents were raised in families that did not identify with any religion, never attended church, etc. When my parents were in their early 20s, they decided to be baptized Catholic. As luck would have it, they met each other right around that same time, ended up getting baptized together, and then got married in the Catholic Church.

My sister and I were raised Catholic...Baptism, First Communion, Confirmation...the whole shebang. We were both active in our church youth groups. I ended up attending a Jesuit university. My sister is now a teacher at a private Christian school. Suffice it to say that our faith has always been a key part of our lives. Jersey was also raised Catholic, up to a certain point. Long story short, some family circumstances caused her to back away from the Church for a while, but she has been ready to return in recent years. We have had MANY discussions about religion and how we plan to raise our children.

For the past several years, I have looked for a local church that feels comfortable to me. The church in which I was raised in CA was always a place of calm, love, and peace. I really felt great being there and considered it home. I've struggled terribly to find anything like that here. In addition to the general "empty" feeling I've gotten from the churches I've attended locally, I began to question whether the Catholic Church was really the best place for us. After all, would a same sex couple (and their kids) be welcome? There is a local church with a gay and lesbian ministry...but I'm not sure I want to be peripherally accepted as part of a fringe group (freak show?).

I began to look elsewhere and found a local Episcopalian church. It's an amazing feeling when something just feels right, like it's the obvious thing that was missing. I was welcomed with open arms and lots of smiles. While I have no doubt that there are Episcopalians who are against my marriage (and I know for a fact that there are Catholics who support it), it's nice to feel like there is an overall INclusive atmosphere, instead of an EXclusive fear.

I've been attending this church for several months and many moments have warmed my heart, with a insistent message of “ALL are welcome.”  Back in July, my favorite sermon was given.  You can read it in its entirety here, but I will quote a couple of my favorite parts.

By classifying people, we sort them into two categories. Us and them. If they are like us, well they can’t be all bad can they? But if they are not like us, they are the other. And if they are the other, then they are not us. And if they are not us, well they really don’t measure up do they? And if they don’t measure up, then we are able to treat them shabbily. We can look down upon them, laugh at them, cheat them, beat them, enslave them, even kill them, because, after all, they are not like us. They are different.

And…

When we see these things happening, or even worse, when we find ourselves doing these things, I urge you to remember Paul’s words to the church in Ephesus. Jesus didn’t come here to create divisions but to heal them. We are not in the church by our own will, but by God’s. We are not a club or a benevolent organization or a fraternity or sorority where we get to decide who is and who isn’t a member. We are decidedly not the Kiwanis club with hymns. We don’t get to review the qualifications of a potential member and decide if they have what it takes to be part of our club. For we are members of a church created by God and it is He and He alone who decides who is a member. And he decided that we all are. For all are welcome in God’s church.

And…

At the general convention our church decided to approve a blessing for same sex unions. I know this is a controversial conversation as many people have strong feelings one way or the other. But it should not surprise anyone that our church decided to take this step. For if we didn’t, we would be failing in our mission to love one another. Jesus didn’t ask us to judge one another, but to love one another. That is what we are doing. We are not setting criteria for membership and deciding who can and who can’t be part of God’s love. We are simply doing what Jesus did. Accepting people and loving them as He found them. This is what we have done for years. From the acceptance of black people, to the role of women in the church, to the conversation about same sex couples, I am proud that our church has always chosen to stay true to our foundational principles. That we should love God and love our neighbors. That is the church I want to belong to, and that is the church I want my children to be part of.

On this Thanksgiving, I am so glad to have found this new home.