Saturday, September 27, 2008

Kitchen Hell

I apologize for being somewhat MIA over the past couple of weeks, both here and in comments I'd normally leave on your blogs. I have been dealing with some chaos in my house; specifically, I had an unknown leak behind my kitchen sink, the water spread throughout my walls, mold appeared, my insurance company has been in constant contact, my kitchen was torn apart, the mold problem was remediated, and now I need repairs. Fun, huh?

This is what it looks like now (ignore the mess in the living room...the rest of the house has had to shift a little to accommodate the various workers I've had trouncing through the repair zone...and my appliances have bumped Jersey's car from the garage). At this point, I have a rebuild quote from my insurance company and I just need to find someone who can do the work for that amount of money. I'm very fortunate that everything, minus my deductible, is being paid. Nothing has come out of my pocket yet, so this could all be much worse. The first company that gave me an estimate was ridiculous, complaining that it was a ton of work (while I agree that it's not something that can be done in an afternoon, it's really just drywall, cabinets, and counters...it is NOT $7000 worth of labor). I have received referrals from coworkers, so I will be contacting those contractors asap so that this can all be done soon.

In the meantime, I have been carting my laptop back and forth from my office so that I can get some work done while also being available to all the people who have needed access to my house. I've been known to sit on the stairs and work on files while answering various questions about the damage and my home in general. The trickiest part about working in this situation is that I get horrendous reception on my cell phone when I'm downstairs, so I have to run upstairs each time my phone rings. Quite the sight, I imagine.

My mom has been more than helpful throughout all of the mess, graciously letting Jersey and me crash her kitchen after work each night and on weekends. Not that I don't like doing the take-out thing, but my waistline and wallet wouldn't be thrilled with weeks of that. In addition to giving us a place to go for meals, my mom has also been great about relaying messages to me from work (we work together, which is handy), covering for me at meetings, and dropping stuff off to me when I haven't been able to leave during the day.

Poor Jersey has been wonderful about the craziness. I know it sucks to not have a kitchen, but she's been understanding about it. Personally, I've only had one minor breakdown so far, just from the pure stress of balancing home and work. Again, I know how lucky I am that it's not a lot worse. So, that's where I've been. I will do my best to keep up with the posts and comments, but I promise that I haven't forgotten about you!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

I Guess He Approves

This past April, about a week before the ninth anniversary of the day my dad died, I took Jersey to the cemetery in California. I figured it would be the best way to really "introduce" them and any resulting lightning or earthquakes would clue me in to his disapproval of our relationship. If there were no natural disasters following the visit, I'd take that as tacit approval. I should probably also preface this story by saying that I don't cry or see my cemetery trips as a sad thing. It's just like I'm swinging by my dad's place to say hi and clean up a bit. I usually spend a minute catching up with his "next door neighbor", and I've been known to bring my dad a cookie.

So, on this particular day, I was in a good mood and only a tiny bit nervous about bringing Jersey. It was a gorgeous afternoon in Southern California, so we had the sunroof open and the classic rock on the radio. I pulled into the cemetery and it wasn't until I saw a gathering to my left that I realized I needed to turn down the music and close my sunroof. Don't worry, I got no glares from the funeral, so I don't think I interrupted anything, but I did realize that I was pushing it by rocking out in such a quiet place. It was only as I reached for the volume that I realized what song was playing: AC/DC's "Highway to Hell". Nice, Dad. Really funny. Now, for the first time since the funeral, I was in tears at the cemetery...this time out of pure laughter.

I parked the car and Jersey and I walked toward my dad. I made the proper introductions, she said hello, and all went well. Then I showed her the hole that I call his "escape hatch" (I believe it's for flowers or something, though it would be better if it were one of those tube tunnels like they have at the bank). My family has always joked that we have to be careful of the escape hatch, just in case he decides to play a trick on us. But on this day, I noticed that some grass had grown over the escape hatch, almost completely blocking it. At first I reached for it, to clean it the same way I clean his stone, but then I realized that it was probably better to leave it blocked. Jersey and I laughed and headed back for the car, everything having gone perfectly. Then I started the car and listened to the song that had just started on the same classic rock station: "Break on Through" by the Doors. Sorry, there is no way I'm cleaning off that hole.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Meme Monday

This meme is courtesy of my sister, Lara. If you'd like to play, just put your music player on random and answer the following questions. This could be very interesting. Odd, too.

1. What is missing from my life? "Pour Some Sugar on Me" - Def Leppard. Yeah, I'd love to be hot, sticky sweet. From my head to my feet.

2. Will I find love? "Teach Your Children" - Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young. Well, if I have children to teach, that would presuppose that I've found love, at least for long enough to make the babies!

3. Will I become rich? "Open Arms" - Journey. Arms are open and ready to receive a BIG check. Or a winning lottery ticket.

4. Does someone have a crush on me? "My Immortal" - Evanescence. Now, if I could just figure out who that is....

5. What should I do with my life? "Move This" - Technotronic. No problem. I'll shake that body.

6. Am I good looking? "Keep Your Hands to Yourself" - Georgia Satellites. 'Nuff said.

7. When am I most happy? "Mary Jane" - Alanis Morissette. Hey, just because I went to Haight-Ashbury a few weeks ago doesn't mean you should jump to conclusions!

8. What is my biggest regret? "You Don't Know Me" - Ray Charles. That can be easily fixed, though. Just come visit me in Vegas...or let me hang out with you in your hometown.

9. How does the world see me? "You May Be Right" - Billy Joel. I may also be crazy.

10. What do my friends really think of me? "Spirit in the Sky" - Norman Greenbaum. That's not near as bad as what I thought they might think of me.

11. Will I have a happy life? "The Wrong Way" - Sublime. Wrong by whose definition?

12. How can I make myself happy? "Rehab" - Amy Winehouse. Don't think that will help with much. They'd find me to be verrrrrrry boring.

13. How will I die? "Glory Days" - Bruce Springsteen. If I'm gonna go, I guess I might as well go big.

14. Do I act my age? "Underneath Your Clothes" - Shakira. Um, how does a 29-year-old usually act underneath someone else's clothes?

15. What type of tattoo should I get? "Smooth Criminal" - Michael Jackson. What, like a gangsta tat? I'll pass.

16. What is my spirit animal? "Songbird" - Eva Cassidy. That's pretty. Probably too cutesy for me, but I'll take it. The bird's got a much better singing voice.

17. Do I like pain? "Broken Wing" - Martina McBride. Don't want a broken anything, thankyouverymuch.

18. Is there anyone else like me out there? "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" - Eva Cassidy. Indeed, the scarecrow and I can hang out with our empty heads!

19. Where should I move to? "Beverly Hills" - Weezer. I guess with those open arms full of money, I can do this.

20. Will I ever be president? "The Joker" - Steve Miller Band. Yes, a joker will be president. I, however, will not.

21. What is fun for me? "Take It Easy" - Eagles. Taking it hard sucks.

22. Will I ever learn to fly? "I am a Rock" - Simon & Garfunkel. I'll take that as a big "no".

23. What is my super power? "None of Your Business" - Salt n Pepa.

24. What is some good advice for me? "Sweet Southern Comfort" - Buddy Jewell. Nah, got horribly sick after drinking that one night. I'll stick to Captain Morgan.

If any of you would like to steal this, consider yourself tagged!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Politics and Religion

Ah, yes, politics and religion. Two topics to be avoided at the dinner table. Two topics to be avoided in a lot of places, unless heated (and sometimes ugly) debates are your thing. It's funny though...I seem to be able to talk about both without a terrible amount of fighting. After a decent amount of consideration, I think it comes down to my general lack of "I'm right, you're wrong" when it comes to both topics. I also have a healthy dose of "I don't know", so it allows me to listen and learn as much as anything else. With that, here are some things on my political and religious mind.

I don't like Sarah Palin. Admittedly, I don't know a lot of details about her politics, beyond her being very conservative. However, I recently read an article about her personal life and it did nothing but show me that I do not want this woman in charge of anything.

Her 17-year-old daughter is pregnant, which I have no reason to judge. It's something that can happen to intelligent teenagers in great families. In fact, it seems as though an unexpected, premarital pregnancy is something she's experienced herself, given that her first child was born less than 8 months after her elopement (can we say shotgun wedding?). What I do judge is the hypocrisy of touting abstinence as the best sex education when that clearly didn't work with her or her daughter. Seems awfully unrealistic to push the rest of the country to follow an ideal that failed in her own life.

Something else that struck me while reading this article was her dishonesty. Once Palin found out she was pregnant with her youngest child, she went to great measures to hide it from the public, afraid that they would deem her unable to serve in her position as Governor. Excuse me, but is that the best way to handle things? I'm worried that they'll think I can't do my job, so I'll just deceive them instead? A pregnancy and baby aren't things that are temporary issues that just go away, so the public is going to know about it eventually. Hiding it does nothing for me but show fear and a lack of willingness to face challenges head on. Oh, and when she found out that the baby would be born with Down Syndrome, she didn't even tell her children. She said that she didn't know how to tell them, so she just waited until they noticed it themselves. Ugh.

Other political stuff: This election season has gone on forever...The VP picks seem more important this time around than in any election I can remember...I wish campaign ads focused more on why a candidate deserves my vote, rather than why the other candidate does not...I hope the younger generation actually votes in this election...I don't think the public will give the next President much of a chance, regardless of which candidate wins, because too many people have unrealistic expectations about what can actually be done in a short amount of time...I'd love to see more help for Americans in many areas, including education and healthcare, but we seem too intent on fixing everyone else's issues...I don't know as much as I should about the foreign policy and financial issues facing our country because I tend to focus on the social issues.

I've also given a lot of thought to religion lately. Specifically, how best am I defined...or does a definition even matter? I was raised Catholic and still identify myself as such. When I attend church, I attend Catholic Mass. Right now, I am not attending church on a regular basis, though I go through occasional phases where I attend regularly. What I question is whether I fit with a church known to be rather judgmental, when I feel that God is more loving and accepting. Is there a place for my more liberal views in the strict definition of the Catholic Church?

I do believe in God and heaven and all that nice stuff, though I have no interest in arguing the issue with those who do not. My ex used to question how I knew that God and heaven exist, but it's simply my faith, my belief that they are real. I can't prove it either way, nor do I feel the need to. It's personal to me, a foundation that underlies the rest of my existence. I also feel very comfortable within Catholic churches. It's relaxing and fulfilling and I feel like I am at home when I'm at Mass. At the same time, I know there are a lot of strict Catholics (well, believers of many faiths, really) who would judge me as being a "bad Catholic". I have done things in my life that people would deem "bad"...some for which I am sorry, others for which I am not. Through it all, I believe very strongly that I am a good person and that God loves me.

So, am I really a Catholic or is there a better definition? Even more importantly, does it matter? If I feel happy in a Catholic church and I feel that I have a strong relationship with God, do I need to worry about a label? Or can I continue to be a good person, knowing that I am loved and that I will see my dad (and all my loved ones) in heaven?

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

An Unexpected Debate

This past weekend, a friend of Jersey's came into town for an overnight visit. I had only met him once before, but I had no problem opening up my home to him and going out to a fun dinner on Saturday night. The three of us had a few beers, some really good food, and then a debate that I did not see coming. The subject of same sex couples having kids came up...more specifically, the subject of it being wrong for same sex couples to have kids was brought up by this friend. Now, he knows that Jersey and I want kids, so I was interested in knowing what his particular issue was. I think Jersey was nervous that the conversation would get ugly, but I stayed very calm. It freaks people out when I do that.

His opening was along the lines of "gays shouldn't have kids because they just have kids to show them off and it's damaging to the kids."

Huh?

My response to that was quite simple. "There are, unfortunately, plenty of straight people who do that, too. It's not a gay trait. It's an obnoxious person trait." I then pointed out plenty of examples of parents who live their lives vicariously through their children, parading them around like show ponies, sometimes not even wanting them in the first place. I don't doubt that there are same sex couples who do this, but that has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

Then he reiterated his point about the kids getting "messed up" by gay parents. I told him that, to my knowledge, no psychological study has shown any inherent damage to kids raised in a same sex household. In fact, everything I've ever heard points to a slight edge in compassion and emotional resilience, simply due to increased awareness of sensitive issues. His response was that those studies have only been done since the early 90s, so they don't really prove anything. I ignored the obvious rebuttal that, if they've only been done in the past 15 years (which I doubt, but I don't have the facts), they also don't prove his point. I'd actually go so far as to guess that 15 years is enough time to see signs of emotional damage, if it actually exists.

He seemed to be running out of steam, and not that interested in fighting with someone who wasn't taking the bait. He said that none of it was meant to be a personal attack against us.

I let the argument fade, but it's been on my mind. How sad it is to think about having children when these opinions, and worse, are out there...but how happy I am to plan for my future and the babies Jersey and I will raise.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Weekend Randomness

It's another hot Saturday in Vegas and I have lots of things to do before Jersey's friend arrives for an overnight stay. Plenty of things about which to blog have crossed my mind, so I'll just throw a few of them together in a pile of random.

***Last night was the Stand Up to Cancer special on ABC, NBC, and CBS. I always like it when lots of powerful people get together for a good cause, and cancer has already had a profound effect on my life. I decided to call in to make a donation, small though it may have been, and I kinda hoped I'd get to talk to some nifty celebrity volunteer in the process. No such luck with that, but my father did make an appearance of sorts. Yes, he died nine years ago, but he seemed to be keeping tabs on my phone call.

When the nice operator answered, I have to admit that I had three people on my mind: my dad and my two biggest mentors, both of whom had also passed away from cancer. So, when asked if I would like to make a donation in memory of anyone, I hesitated momentarily, trying to decide if I could do some sort of multiple honor thing or if I should just stick to my dad. Before we got to any specifics about that, the operator asked for my name. I gave it to her and spelled it carefully and she repeated it back. But, you know how people clarify certain letters by saying "A as in apple" and such? Well, the only times she used "as in" were when she said "L as in Larry" and "D as in David". Odd, since my dad's given name was David and he went by Larry, a shortened version of his middle name. I definitely made a weird face at Jersey when I realized that my dad was saying hi to me through this lady. Oh, and you're welcome for the donation, dad. I gave it all in your name.

***I've known for a while that we are part of an instant-gratification society, but I noticed something last night that made me laugh out loud. I was making some instant pudding...crazy good, bright green, pistachio flavor. Though I've made it before, I glanced at the back of the box to make sure I was adding the correct amount of milk. At the top are the basic directions to add two cups of milk and mix until blended, about two minutes. Right below that are the words "Quicker Way", with the instructions on how to hurry up the pudding making process. Um, seriously, what's wrong with us that two minutes is too long?!? I decided to enjoy my dessert making, and I happily took all 120 seconds.

***A couple of weeks ago, there was a news story about the nine-year-old baseball pitcher who was told that he is not allowed to pitch anymore because he throws the ball too fast. He's too good at what he does and it's not considered fair to the other players. Now, I don't know all the details of this story, and I know this is a more extreme example, but I don't like it one bit. I don't like all the "fairness" rules out there, where kids must all get a chance to play each position, or where everyone gets the same trophy at the end of a competition. I don't like "try-outs" where anyone who shows up gets to make the team. I'm tired of people whining that they are just kids and everything should be equal. Sorry, but it just doesn't work that way. Everyone, kids included, need to realize that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, natural abilities and things that take a lot of effort.

I am not saying that there can't be aspects of activities that acknowledge a wider base. For example, there was an annual Girl Scout Olympic-style track and field day. All of us who tried, in any of the events, were given a ribbon for our participation. Heat winners got a ribbon for their accomplishments. The best in each event got trophies. I never won a trophy, but I loved all of my participation ribbons and had a great time at each one of these competitions.

Some kids are going to be better athletically, some academically, some artistically. Why not teach them to embrace their natural talents, while allowing them the exploration into areas in which they don't excel, so that they also learn to appreciate defeat? Why must the winners feel like they have nothing to show for their efforts, when the losers got the same recognition? Why can't we teach children to work hard, be proud, and stop blaming other people for things that don't go their way?

***Please send good energy my way over the next few weeks. There are some ongoing changes in my workplace and I am on a roller coaster of sorts. Everything has the potential to go well, but shake-ups are always a little scary and I don't want to be fearful. I will keep my head up and take what comes my way with a smile, but some positive power from my friends can't hurt!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

California Dreamin'

I love my sister and miss her every day. I love California and miss it every day. When I have the opportunity to go to California to see my sister, well, that's just damn near perfect. This past weekend, Jersey and I flew to the Bay Area to stay with Lara, and we managed to squeeze in some sightseeing in San Francisco, Palo Alto, and Santa Cruz. Though I've been to the area plenty of times, this was all brand new to Jersey. Here are some of the highlights (with a few lowlights thrown in):

Jersey and I decided to stop at a Mexican bar/grill in the airport to have margaritas and nachos prior to our flight. Worst.service.ever. And that's coming from two people with almost two decades of food service between them. I just don't think it's a good idea to ignore your table for 20-25 minutes after they have finished all of their food/drinks...they have a plane to catch and I'm guessing most of them will not hesitate to bail on their bill if it's between that and missing their flight. There was a lot more to this story than just that, but it was the last straw. I did pay my bill. I did not leave much of a tip.

The reason we didn't miss our flight was because the plane was late, so all was good. It got even better when we discovered that the airline doesn't charge the standard $4.00 for a cocktail when the flight is delayed. Free booze is their way of apologizing. I forgive them.

This was our first look at Lara's new place. Nice digs, cute cat. Plus, she gave up her bed to Jersey and me, which was very kind.

Saturday morning we drove to San Francisco, specifically the Pier 39 area. I love San Francisco as much as my sister hates it. It has character, which is the common trait of all of my favorite cities. Granted, I've never taken the time necessary to truly explore its depths, but that's on my short list of things to do. We saw the barking sea lions, took pictures of Alcatraz and the Golden Gate Bridge from afar, and enjoyed some clam chowder in a sourdough bread bowl. Oh, and I bought a pound of fudge that I really didn't need, but I gave myself special "traveler's dispensation" for all my caloric insanity. Shortly after purchasing the fudge, we walked to Ghiradelli's Square, where I giggled over a peanut butter hot fudge sundae. Mmmmm.

Despite being exhausted, my sister then drove us over to Haight-Ashbury because she's a doll who was willing to cater to our vacation whims. I had only been there once before and Jersey had been told to check it out by her mom. Our first stop in the famous neighborhood was in a cramped used book store that got us greatly excited...until we stepped inside. Almost immediately we were greeted, not by a "hello" or "welcome", but by a sneer, a once-over, and an accusation that our purses were too big. We were then followed around the store by one employee, while the other remained perched in her wicked throne behind the counter. Apparently the three clean-cut girls posed a huge threat to their business. Anyway, we were still happy to look for hidden bookstore treasures and proceeded to the checkout once we had found them. Then, a problem. For the first time in my 11 years of credit card experience, I came across a place that has a major issue with accepting credit cards with "see ID" written on the back. Now, I respect a business's right to run things by their own standards. If they choose not to accept "see ID" on the back of a credit card, that's their prerogative. What I do not respect is the decision to read us the riot act about how we were participating in fraudulent criminal behavior; the decision to treat us like the hoodlums they assumed we were from the moment we entered the store. I get that Haight-Ashbury isn't exactly Rodeo Drive, but that's no reason to assume the worst about everyone. What a shitty attitude to have through life. And what a shitty way to lose my business.

On the way home, we cheered up with a stop at Boston Market. I love me some Boston Market, but there aren't any in Vegas. And, yes, my day really did seem to revolve around food.

Sunday we headed to Palo Alto (after a stop at In-N-Out for an Animal Style Double-Double) and, specifically, to Stanford for a women's soccer game. Jersey and I don't know anyone on the team, but we thought it would be fun to see some sort of sporting event while we were there. Following a mini-tour of the University, we strolled downtown and filled up on some yummy sushi. Jersey really wasn't feeling well, so we didn't do much else. Just laughed a lot and enjoyed being with my sister.

Day three of our weekend was for my first trip, Lara's second, to Santa Cruz. It was definitely a casually silly day, but a nice way to end the vacation. We just walked up and down the boardwalk, eating junk food (which I suppose surprises nobody who has read this post from the beginning), people watching, and playing midway games. As for the running joke about who is the "man" in our relationship (it totally depends on the given activity in question, for the record), I totally got the designation yesterday when I won a stuffed monkey and gave it to Jersey with a kiss. Yay for smiles over something so child-like!

Alas, all good things must end, so we said goodbye to Lara at the airport, all of us looking forward to Thanksgiving weekend and our next gathering. I really had a great time spending time with my sister, sharing more firsts with Jersey, and seeing the two of them get along so well. Now, it's back to work and a countdown to the holiday season. I hope everyone else had a great weekend!